I Did Actually Survive Ohio

Okay! So I know I said I was going to Ohio and I was really nervous and then I just didn’t update. I’ve been trying to post an update but the truth is, as far as my anxiety goes, the trip was pretty uneventful. That’s not to say I DIDN’T have anxiety, because I did, but it wasn’t bad.

The flight there was fine–I tend to be fine on the way to places but have anxiety coming back. We got there at midnight so we just kind of went to bed right away. Night was when I had most of my anxiety because nothing was going on and I was in my own head. I kept thinking about how much longer I had to be there and worrying about what we were even going to do.

The first day we drove around and went shopping, just kind of went around town. The second day we ended up going into Cleveland. During rush hour. At the time I actually thought that Cleveland was the capital which I would say is an honest mistake. I almost didn’t go; I was flat out refusing to go when my boyfriend’s mom suggested it. I told my boyfriend to go but that I will NOT be going at 3:30pm.

But then I got to thinking…what if it really wasn’t that bad? What if my boyfriend goes out and he texts me telling me I would have been fine and I regret not going? I just really didn’t want to regret anything. It was the day before we left anyway, so I kind of figured I didn’t have much to lose.

And honestly?
It went great.

The traffic there isn’t even close to as bad as the traffic in Texas. We did get on the freeway closer to 5pm and traffic wasn’t even backed up. It was on part of the freeway but it looked worse than it was. Preparing myself to have anxiety sort of made me exhausted. I was ready for some kind of emotional distress that never happened, and that wore me out. But I was proud of myself for making it and I didn’t want to miss out on anything else, so we went to the mall later that night.

In the end I had a really good time. I got to see my boyfriend around his family, I explored downtown Cleveland, I tried amazing vegan food, and I fought some of my fears. Ohio was actually really pretty. There’s just something the north has that the south doesn’t. Probably grass.